Daryl Wood's Blog

I know I’m still grieving – to some extent – the loss of my mother last September. And, grieving the loss of my Grama in March. And maybe even the loss of my father and father-in-law in recent years. Yet today, listening to my friend’s empty sadness since her mother’s passing, I realize that I need to change how I relate to grief – in myself and others.

I’m of an age where there are a lot of people around me in the second half of their lives. For some there is a relaunching, rejuvenation and exciting perspective. For others, the decline is obvious, steady and probable. Inevitably, if we live long enough, we will say a lot of goodbyes. Since I have a secret wish to live a long healthy life, how I handle grief makes a difference.

Today I’m noticing how difficult it is for me to recover and that worries me. I need a strategy. I don’t want to become immobilized over and over again. I want to bless the state of grace that moves through us as we transition out of our lives. I typically don’t have trouble acknowledging that the sadness I feel is for those of us left behind. We are the ones who now have vacant spaces.

For sure, some of my discomfort comes from a sense that time is running out. It feels like so much wants to be done and is indeed calling to be done. Over and over again I am seeing the end of the road and I’m just not ready. I suspect my discontent is based on my reluctance to step fully into the projects and ideas that are continually showing up. Perhaps this is the strategy I will use to make the memories of my lost loves mean something. And, when all is said and done, making my own life mean something. Perhaps.