Daryl Wood's Blog

It’s not surprising how many times a woman has come to a Retreat or landed on a coaching call asking me this question. When we find ourselves circling back around an old issue it can feel as though we’ll never be free of the entanglement of emotions.

In my experience, the stuff we wish we could erase will inevitably show up again in some new relationship, career or community. The opportunity for us is to accept it in and ask ourselves what else is there to be learned? What might we have missed the first time? What new layer must we uncover to serve us at this point in our lives?

There is always more to learn. It might be that we have slipped back into self-defeating patterns and the resurgence of an old issue is a stark reminder. An example is when one of my clients complained about feeling resentment towards her mother whom she had long ago forgiven. Why would this show up again when she believed she had sufficiently dealt with any ‘mother’ issues? When we looked at what she was feeling it was clear that she had been gradually telling herself something her mother had said when she was a wayward teenager – that being, ‘you’ll never amount to anything’. This dialogue had started when a significant business deal fell through and she was faced with having to choose between her passion for her small business or a ‘job’ in the corporate world. Her loss of confidence had triggered the old memories and her mother was just a convenient target (even though she had done her best to keep her feelings to herself).

Once we identified the source we took a good hard look at how she was contributing to the belief. It turns out that in spite of knowing better (and we ALL do this to some degree at some time) she was stockpiling evidence to support her belief that she was a failure. This brilliant woman saw the synchronicity of this happening during her coaching contract with me. The timing was perfect to expose the truth and get her back on track quickly. Works like a charm every time!

So, the short answer might be that we do permanently get over some things. AND the ones that we don’t, have powerful lessons. If you are curious and would love to explore more, visit www.darylwood.com to select the coaching package that fits you.