Daryl Wood's Blog

This morning I saw this note posted on my bulletin board from long ago. I don’t question why I saw it today, rather I acknowledge that the words are to remind me that many people are indeed hurting. And what they do with that hurt can have a deep and wide impact.

When I hear a sarcastic remark from spouse to spouse or child to parent, I wonder. What are they afraid of that they twist their words instead of saying directly what they mean? When I watch someone roll their eyes behind their friend’s back I wonder. What are they believing that makes them ridicule someone they claim to love? When I see someone dismiss what their child is saying I wonder. What are they not able to be with that is showing up for them in this relationship?

And that’s just the beginning. There are so many ways that people intentionally and unintentionally hurt each other. When underlying resentment or anger are not addressed, it’s easy to hurt someone you love. Putting off resolving your own feelings will guarantee that your relationship will never be ‘clean’. There will always be something getting in the way of a respectful connection. And there will always be the risk of hurting each other because of the hurt that you still carry inside.

When we gather for a Women’s Wisdom Retreat we pull out our ‘Shadows’ and uncover the truth about why our relationships sometimes feel tangled or messy. We boldly accept the shadow and light of ourselves in an effort to accept others and to see ourselves in others. This healing process can stop us immediately from hurting those we love. Including ourselves.