Daryl Wood's Blog

Have you ever wished that you could avoid those people who trigger uncomfortable or even very negative emotions in you? I have a sticky note on my bulletin board (seem to be reading my board a lot these days) that says “I want to be with her the same as I’d be with anyone else who didn’t trigger a home grown issue.” What I mean of course is that I don’t want to ‘react’ when someone touches a nerve that has roots to my childhood.

We don’t always see these coming and we don’t always realize where the emotions originated. Home grown stuff can show up at the most inconvenient times AND with people we least expect. If we don’t recognize what the trigger is we can find ourselves reacting impulsively or in a self-destructive way. Our response can often have a damaging effect on our relationship with a person who has no idea that we are feeling like a 5, 7, 10 or 12 year old.

It’s highly unlikely that we’ll get through the rest of our lives without someone triggering us. Especially if we are on a journey of personal growth. We are asking for these experiences to help us learn what has yet to be resolved. The best thing we can do is turn up the volume on our radar so that we recognize what our feelings are pointing to. Then … with grace and ease … we can show up as the confident, wise, adults that we are.