Daryl Wood's Blog

My friend sent me a link to a podcast about keeping your word to yourself and others. It took me back decades to a beautiful little book called The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. I loved the simple yet profound messages at that time and pulled it off my shelf to revisit the First Agreement: Be impeccable with your word. The Agreement states: “Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.”

Oh, does that land with me today. I can’t believe how easily I throw words around in casual conversation and then second guess myself later for saying something that perhaps didn’t need to be said or should not have been said. It’s not that I am railing angrily or viciously but sometimes I am saying things that have a subtle, underlying message I might not want to convey if I were paying attention.

An example was at breakfast with a friend when we chuckled with our very young server who insisted he didn’t need to write down our order. I said something along the lines of “oh to be young again”. After our conversation moved around we began discussing ageism and the negative impacts it has on our own lives. Suddenly I realized that while what I said was meant to be a joke it actually plays into the belief that with age, comes memory loss. Of course there could be merit to that but a blanket statement feeds a mindset that doesn’t serve a population already struggling for acceptance and respect. I am one of them and have felt the sting of being labelled ‘old’.

What does it matter? It erodes my integrity with myself. If I am saying these things then I am reinforcing them into my life. And what I want more than anything in a world that is often showing me where I don’t measure up is to have an inner voice of love, empathy and encouragement. Ultimately, I want the same for others so being kind and directing my words toward truth and love.

My intention is to pay attention, to listen more carefully to random statements I make in jest or otherwise that may be contributing to an unwanted stereotype or negative perception. Being impeccable with my word will help me align my thoughts and feelings with what I tell myself in my quietest moments and when I am sharing with others.