Daryl Wood's Blog

The word resilience has been part of my vocabulary for years. I’ve used it with my coaching clients, in my women’s retreats and in organizations wanting to build healthy workplaces. The emphasis has always been on regaining our footing, forging ahead, getting through the tough times. There is a pull to get back to where we were and what worked.

The Oxford dictionary defines resilience as: “the capacity to withstand or to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness, the ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape; elasticity.”

Those are excellent life skills for dealing with the inevitable challenges we all face. We strive to ‘recover quickly’ so that we can keep moving forward in our lives for the sake of our health, careers and relationships. It is vital in the workplace where ups and downs can throw schedules off and demand that we regain control of situations.

In grief, there is no springing back into shape or recovering quickly. There is no ‘there’ to get back to. And maybe there isn’t for any of us. Maybe staring at the concept of resilience right now has opened my eyes to the reality that none of us can ever go back to what was or what we were because even for a few seconds of veering off track, we have changed.

In my retreats I had a blow up Bozo clown. I would demonstrate how he bounced back when he took a hit but only if he was fully pumped up – an analogy for having a solid foundation and self-confidence. And I believe that when our self-esteem is strong and we are spiritually and emotionally grounded we have the ability to ‘withstand or to recover quickly from difficulties’. That’s what resilience looks like.

I’ve been told by those who have walked this path before me that clearly I have withstood this extraordinary difficulty and that I will recover, albeit slowly, to some aspects of who I was. But I believe what I need more than resilience right now is adaptability. And maybe that’s what we all need in this world that asks us to pivot over and over again for every imaginable reason.

Adaptability is defined as ‘the quality of being able to adjust to new conditions.’ We all need that to survive and thrive. John C. Maxwell said “Change is inevitable, growth is optional.” Without realizing it, we all face changes every day from traffic, weather, relationships, challenges, etc. I surmise that most of us are more adaptable than we think we are which is a sign of growth. And when we aren’t and we feel triggered by changes it could be said that we feel negatively affected because we don’t accept what is.

So today I plan to be as adaptable as possible given that every aspect of my life has changed dramatically in just under 19 weeks. Am I surviving? So far, yes. Am I thriving? Well, that depends on the definition of thriving. Am I adapting? Yes … sometimes kicking and screaming my way through but I am just like everyone else on the planet trying to find a way through the maze of unpredictability.