Daryl Wood's Blog

If you are a parent, you have probably heard that a few times. Last June when Doug and I drove to Nova Scotia he asked me that a few times. We knew what our destinations were on each day and some days it seemed to take forever to get there. Have you ever heard those sayings:

• enjoy the ride
• focus on the present moment
• take your time and appreciate the scenery
• don’t rush the experience
• and my favourite … it’s the journey, not the destination

Of course it’s all true. We had full days and one of the ‘blessings’ if it could ever be called that was that Doug needed to stop and nourish himself through a feeding tube. It meant that we found unique places for privacy and ultimately a break from driving. It gave us a chance to breathe in the surroundings. Not always beautiful scenic places but the pause helped us keep going.

Are we there yet is an underlying question in so much of what we do. Have we finished that thing yet? Have we accomplished what we set out to do? Have we got enough education, training, learning, etc. to state that we are ‘there’, ‘there’ being the place we wanted to be personally or professionally. And when we get there we say things like

• I did it
• finally that’s over with
• success
• I made it
• at last I can slow down

Nothing wrong with celebrating ‘there’. I remember crossing the Confederation Bridge into Prince Edward Island with great excitement because we were finally ‘there’. Equally, I raced into Doug’s arms to celebrate my return from the CoActive Leadership Program I completed after the final retreat in North Carolina. Both times reflected a great deal of effort and I was proud of having got ‘there’.

Sometimes we don’t know where ‘there’ is we just know it’s not here, not where we are now. I’ve heard people say that they’ll know they are ‘there’ when they get ‘there’. I love that. It’s a knowing in our hearts that what we long for is a feeling more than a place or milestone. ‘There’ doesn’t even need to be described or finalized because it can be a moving target. As in, oh, I thought when I got this degree or that new house or that relationship that I would be ‘there’ but along the way, things changed.

So this morning I wondered about Am I There Yet? I had a busy day yesterday with help from wonderful friends in the neighbourhood. I ended the day with dinner and a fun game at their place and thought ‘this could be my new normal’. This could be what my life looks like. This could be the ‘there’ that everyone hopes I get to so they don’t worry about me so much. But it’s not the ‘there’ I was working towards all these years in my professional career or on a personal level when my beloved Doug was by my side.

I don’t feel like I am ‘there’ yet. I sense there is somewhere else I need to go to feel more peace in my heart. And I have no idea what ‘there’ is for me or when I’ll get there but I’m still moving along every day which is the best that I can do. I don’t have any ambition to clarify ‘there’ and can very easily remember when my days were filled with ‘there’. It feels right to loosen the hold on ‘there’ and be ‘here’. Maybe we all need to do a little more of that in our lives so we enjoy the journey which by the way is short and unpredictable.