In the past several weeks I’ve been exposed to thousands of tourists visiting our small community. One thing has stood out for me and I can’t keep quiet about it. I am shocked at the number of seriously obese women. There are lots of overweight women AND that bothers me too. But what I just can’t ignore are the ones who can’t pass someone in the store aisles, can’t sit in the lounge chairs, can’t try on the extra-large t-shirts and walk slowly under the burden of excess weight. Their ankles are swollen, they breath heavy, they perspire, they hunch their shoulders.
And every time I see one of them I feel a deep sadness. AND … honestly, some anger. I want more for them and they deserve better. I know I can help them and yet I feel helpless to find a way to reach them. It is my sense that something has gone terribly wrong in their lives that has led them to medicate themselves with food. While there may be up to 5% who actually have a health issue that created the obesity, it is my firm belief that 95% are the way they are because of what they put in their mouths. I know, I do it all the time.
As summer winds down and there are fewer people to observe I have no choice but to look at myself. I’ve been busier than usual this summer and still managed to gain weight. I know why. I’ve been soothing my fears and frustrations with chocolate fudge brownie ice cream and chocolate chunk supreme cookies. Yes, for those of you who know me, that’s the same cookies I ran over with my car a year ago when I got fed up with my constant munching.
So, if anybody knows how the roller coaster starts it’s me. Up until now, I have been able to stop at a critical point and turn things around. I can hardly say I’m successful when I seem to need to do this on a regular basis. And then there is the drama (see The Sweet Seduction of Drama) that I bring to the whole issue of losing/gaining weight. I can’t bear to bore or entertain you with all that nonsense.
Here’s what I believe: You can’t be obese and have healthy self-esteem. You might be a happy person with a positive attitude and living the life of your dreams. What I still say is that underneath all the joy, you live with the belief that you are pathetic, unworthy, a failure, a fraud or any one of the many labels I’ve heard women give themselves. This isn’t a “beauty” matter, it’s a health matter.
So, I’m trying a little experiment. I’m going to offer self-esteem coaching at a big discount for big women. I want to see if it works. For sure, they will benefit from the focused attention of someone committed to seeing them suceed. What they don’t need is someone telling them what to eat. If you are obese, you could write a book on that!
I think it’s worth a shot. Those of us with weight challenges (and mine are pretty minimal in the big picture) have spent enough time beating ourselves up or stuffing our feelings. It’s time to start finding out what the heck we are so afraid of and taking back our power.
If you or someone you know wants to give this a try, call me at 1-888-596-2385 or email daryl@darylwood.com. Let’s start something.
Daryl Wood's Blog 
Daryl – Thank you for your courageous and empathetic approach to a topic that many people tend to avoid.
As a program leader for Weight Watchers and a life coach I see many overweight women trudge through our doors with not only the physical but also emotional weight to lose.
I can only do some much in my few minutes with them. For some, I can get through but there are those that need a deeper intervention.
You are right, and I say it all the time – if you want to know how to lose weight, ask an overweight person. The question always remains, why don’t we do the things we know we need or want to do?
Daryl – I applaud you for taking on a group like this, I wish I lived closer as I would love to help out in any way I can.
By: Louise Aspden on September 10, 2009
at 5:20 pm