Daryl Wood's Blog

Every successful, wise and inspirational person I know (and I know a lot of them) has had the same fear of being ‘found out’ as a fraud. No matter how much education, research, training they have had there are times when it feels like it’s not enough. No matter how many accolades, acknowledgements, awards, or highly coveted commendations, they still have moments when they ask “Are you sure?”

While I don’t claim to be among the greatest thinkers or influencers of thought by any means, I am definitely in this group who wonder how they ended up being praised or appreciated for their contribution. It’s not that I doubt my impact on the many lives I’ve touched. I have a little Atta Girl file with cards and notes that are testament to my dedication to be of service to the growth and learning of others. Random emails, surprise visits and unsolicited messages of thanks are wonderful reminders that I have achieved my life’s mission of doing my best to help others find joy and peace in their lives.

And that’s the key … doing my best. As a passionate life long learner I know there is always more I can learn and share. And I’m not perfect. I am driven to walk my talk and in spite of a conscious effort well supported by my fierce colleagues I don’t always show up the way I want to or, certainly, the way I could. And therein lies the problem. I’m human. And being human means I make mistakes, don’t see the cues, overlook things, take things for granted, push back, over analyze, resist, blame, complain, over help, assume, awfulize, and get stuck in a limiting mindset for longer than is healthy. Sometimes relationships suffer and some disappear. Some are strengthened by the power of pause and focus.

But the biggest fallout is that when a client expresses deep gratitude there are times when I think “If only you knew who I really am you wouldn’t think I’m so smart!” Again, every coach I know and every successful leader I have worked with has had those exact same moments. Thankfully, we know we won’t always get it right so we keep going, overriding that inner critic who sees only our faults and not our attributes.

My clients hear me ‘fess up’ all the time. Most are relieved to know that I am just as fallible as them. It reminds us that we are all human and run the risk of dropping the ball at the worst time. What they hear from me is that what happens next is what really matters. How we recover builds resilience and what we say to ourselves changes everything.

When a friend was lamenting that she had not been a good mother (and what mother hasn’t wrestled with that a million times) she was blessed with words of wisdom from an old soul: You weren’t perfect but you mostly got it right.

So the next time the fraud police are banging on my door I’m going to shout back at them: “I’m doing the best I can at this moment and that is good enough.”