Daryl Wood's Blog

Standing in front of the grocery store this morning an older man strolled up and chatted a bit. A few others were standing at a distance waiting for the store to open. The first man spotted a young person of colour wearing a Black Lives Matter shirt. He shouted at him, “All Lives Matter”. I was shocked.

The young person replied “Let’s not get political this early in the morning.” The older man said “Well, you started it by wearing that shirt.” The answer, “What’s wrong with a black man wearing a Black Lives Matter shirt.” From there, a few more exchanges. Myself, and another person walked over and quietly supported the young person. I added, “he doesn’t represent all of us who live here.”

Until I left the store several minutes later I wasn’t sure what I was feeling. And then I knew it was anger. I was angry at this person who would be so mean to humiliate or torment someone else. I was angry that the world is in such a state that this kind of abuse can happen at a quiet little grocery store in a tourist town. But I was mostly angry that I didn’t speak up against the attacker. And I wanted to.

My husband carries a quote in his wallet by Holocaust survivor Ellie Wiesel that says “I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides.” I didn’t take sides. I wish I had.

My instinct, which is my survival mechanism, was to stay quiet and invisible. Avoid danger. Avoid confrontation. Avoid anger. But now I carry the burden of not speaking up when it mattered. The patterns of behaviour that served me for so many years when I felt threatened by people and situations don’t serve me anymore. And they don’t send the message to others that I care. I can and will do better.