Daryl Wood's Blog

Shovelling snow in a blizzard and stocking up the woodstove are poignant reminders of my sweet Doug. These were his jobs although I definitely worked alongside him. And it is alongside him that is hardest to live without today.

Doug and I were very affectionate with each other. We held hands … a lot … and he had huge hands. He used to tease me about how small my hands were and how lost they were in his big mitts. We held hands when we walked. We held hands watching tv. We sometimes we held hands when we slept.

We cuddled a lot. I curled up against him on the couch, sat close to him when we travelled, stood in an embrace looking at the lake and snuggled up on the outdoor swing. We just loved being physical.

And there is so much more to touch than I ever realized. A friend in the grocery store tapped my arm when they said hello. Another friend gave me a hug in the parking lot. Someone else took my arm as we slipped together on the icy road. And sometimes, people just brush up against me when we pass in an aisle. All these moments of touch feel so good because I’ll never have Doug put his arms around me again of wrap his big hands around my little ones.

If you take anything away from this message today, please know that touch is comforting, healing and meaningful for whoever you encounter along the way. Some people don’t like to be touched so of course you would want to be respectful. And there are people in my life who I don’t want touching me. But let’s not make assumptions and let’s not lose an opportunity to give others the warmth of physical contact. It’s impossible not to miss what is gone when suddenly it disappears out of your life.

I spent ten days with family and friends over the holidays and was hugged and held and touched a lot. Now as the blizzard has set in and I hunker down with books, and crafts and writing I feel the empty space where touch was the expression of a deep love. Who needs a hug or a soft touch in your life today?