Posted by: Ms. Daryl Wood | July 11, 2023

The Last Time

Snuggled beside my aunt in the backseat of the car she spoke softly, “I miss driving my car. The last time I drove it, I didn’t know it was going to be the last time.” Big sigh. Nobody knew it would be the last time and now we were being driven around for the last time with her through the small Nova Scotia villages she had introduced me to on our many visits. This was our good-bye trip as she faced, with so much uncertainty and emotion, the end of her life. It’s been five years and I can still feel and smell and taste that moment with her.

Sometimes we talked about what was inevitable, sometimes we reminisced, sometimes we acted as if nothing had changed. What struck me on the sad flight home when I knew I’d never see her again was the sharp contrast with how many ways I have missed ‘the last time’. There were people and places that meant so much to me and I rarely knew it would be the last time. I have an image etched into my heart and mind of my mother standing on her front porch as we drove away fourteen years ago. It was the last time and oddly enough, while there was no immediate indication that she would be gone in a few weeks, something in my soul told me to have that final, loving conversation with her and to keep watch as we rolled down the street.

We all celebrate people we love, extraordinary events and adventures through connection or travel or the simple life experience of our daily lives. In each of these are moments we want to cherish forever. As I print off the pictures of our recent vacation I know how much my husband and I will enjoy slowly going through them to remember the fun we had and the beautiful people who shared time with us. Just in case it was the last time … and I’m already planning the return trip … we will have these photographs to bring the memories back to life.

What do you want to embrace today just in case it’s the last time?

Leave a Comment

Posted in Conscious Thought, Inspiration, Personal Growth | Tags: , , , , , ,

Posted by: Ms. Daryl Wood | July 5, 2023

What A Hard Way To Live

That’s what I said in a recent conversation with a friend as she described the manipulation, lies and control that led to what her family felt was the very selfish behaviour of one sibling. She was distraught that his actions stole an estate meant to be shared and there was no apparent guilt or shame. My friend, like everyone who hears the details, was appalled. And I was too – for as long as it took for the shock to wear off and digest the ‘excitement’ of the unfolding drama. And then … I thought of this man, who evidence proved, had calculated his moves to undermine the original intent of the deceased loved one, and I heard my heart say ‘what a hard way to live’.

I thought of how awful it must be to make choices that destroy relationships and demand secrecy to hide information from others in order to get what you want at any cost. How it would feel to be looking over your shoulder to see who might be waiting to reveal your deceit, to never know if one day you will be stripped of your image in the world if ever the truth became public knowledge. Or how your health and wellbeing might always be compromised from the dread of meeting face to face with those you have wronged. And all the while holding your breath and lying even to yourself as you convince your children that you did nothing bad.

Its hard for me to imagine being so morally and ethically insensitive because my conscience is too overpowering. I have trouble even now living with mistakes I’ve made over the years (and there’s been many) while running from fear, anxiety and shame. I forgive myself over and over again when the memories come up of when I have cost someone else peace of mind or security in some way. The decades of living on the edge of drama set me up for all kinds of behaviour I regret. Forgiveness and atonement whenever I can is my pathway to inner peace.

It’s easy for me to see my poor judgement in comparison to this man’s actions and I wonder what happened to him that made him feel this was the right thing to do. When I read Dr. Bruce Perry’s book “What Happened To You” I felt a resonance with all I’ve studied these past 25 years, learning to see each of us as beautiful human beings struggling to feel safe in a world that sometimes feels dangerous. Left unchecked or to our own desperate devices we can be self-destructive and even worse, create miserable situations for others.

So I’m sad for this family that is dealing with this trauma and feeling so victimized. I’m sad that relationships that were already strained have now become ‘irretrievable’ in the siblings eyes. I’m sad that someone, somewhere, a long time ago didn’t realize the powerful role that making children feel safe and loved could play in how we live our lives. Maybe if we knew that, if this man and all of us knew that, then we could live more peacefully on a deep, cellular, heart space level.

Who in your life is ‘acting out’ and perhaps frantically searching for reassurance? How might you be a catalyst for healing an open wound? We are all called to serve the goodness of this world and those we share it with through kind thoughts, words and deeds. Today is a good day to help someone climb out of a dark hole of shame.

Leave a Comment

Posted in Conscious Thought, Health | Tags: , , , ,

Posted by: Ms. Daryl Wood | July 4, 2023

I’m Angry

Standing in front of the grocery store this morning an older man strolled up and chatted a bit. A few others were standing at a distance waiting for the store to open. The first man spotted a young person of colour wearing a Black Lives Matter shirt. He shouted at him, “All Lives Matter”. I was shocked.

The young person replied “Let’s not get political this early in the morning.” The older man said “Well, you started it by wearing that shirt.” The answer, “What’s wrong with a black man wearing a Black Lives Matter shirt.” From there, a few more exchanges. Myself, and another person walked over and quietly supported the young person. I added, “he doesn’t represent all of us who live here.”

Until I left the store several minutes later I wasn’t sure what I was feeling. And then I knew it was anger. I was angry at this person who would be so mean to humiliate or torment someone else. I was angry that the world is in such a state that this kind of abuse can happen at a quiet little grocery store in a tourist town. But I was mostly angry that I didn’t speak up against the attacker. And I wanted to.

My husband carries a quote in his wallet by Holocaust survivor Ellie Wiesel that says “I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides.” I didn’t take sides. I wish I had.

My instinct, which is my survival mechanism, was to stay quiet and invisible. Avoid danger. Avoid confrontation. Avoid anger. But now I carry the burden of not speaking up when it mattered. The patterns of behaviour that served me for so many years when I felt threatened by people and situations don’t serve me anymore. And they don’t send the message to others that I care. I can and will do better.

2 Comments

Posted in Conscious Thought, Leadership, New perspectives | Tags: ,

Posted by: Ms. Daryl Wood | June 27, 2023

Speak With Integrity

My friend sent me a link to a podcast about keeping your word to yourself and others. It took me back decades to a beautiful little book called The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. I loved the simple yet profound messages at that time and pulled it off my shelf to revisit the First Agreement: Be impeccable with your word. The Agreement states: “Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.”

Oh, does that land with me today. I can’t believe how easily I throw words around in casual conversation and then second guess myself later for saying something that perhaps didn’t need to be said or should not have been said. It’s not that I am railing angrily or viciously but sometimes I am saying things that have a subtle, underlying message I might not want to convey if I were paying attention.

An example was at breakfast with a friend when we chuckled with our very young server who insisted he didn’t need to write down our order. I said something along the lines of “oh to be young again”. After our conversation moved around we began discussing ageism and the negative impacts it has on our own lives. Suddenly I realized that while what I said was meant to be a joke it actually plays into the belief that with age, comes memory loss. Of course there could be merit to that but a blanket statement feeds a mindset that doesn’t serve a population already struggling for acceptance and respect. I am one of them and have felt the sting of being labelled ‘old’.

What does it matter? It erodes my integrity with myself. If I am saying these things then I am reinforcing them into my life. And what I want more than anything in a world that is often showing me where I don’t measure up is to have an inner voice of love, empathy and encouragement. Ultimately, I want the same for others so being kind and directing my words toward truth and love.

My intention is to pay attention, to listen more carefully to random statements I make in jest or otherwise that may be contributing to an unwanted stereotype or negative perception. Being impeccable with my word will help me align my thoughts and feelings with what I tell myself in my quietest moments and when I am sharing with others.

6 Comments

Posted in Conscious Thought, Inspiration, New perspectives, Personal Growth | Tags: , , ,

Posted by: Ms. Daryl Wood | June 24, 2023

Drama is Seductive

After weeks of planning we finally took our three week vacation to Canada’s East Coast. We saw amazing places like The Lost Villages Museum, Hopewell Rocks (pictured), The Bay of Fundy, The Bluenose in Lunenburg, wild lupines, lobster boats unloading, long stretches of beautiful sandy beaches, the Cape George lighthouse, the world’s longest covered bridge, a stunning garden of dozens of unique sculptures, Shediac’s giant lobster, the LaHave Bakery and so many other spectacular Ocean vistas.

We visited and were hosted by loving family and friends who embraced us warmly and shared happy times with us. And we ate delicious Maritime meals including seafood that can only be appreciated when freshly caught in local waters.

And the trip ended in Ottawa where I spent two days with an awesome team of dedicated staff learning the ins and outs of The Empowerment Dynamic to better manage drama in their workplace. Perfect conclusion of a busy, fun, exciting and adventurous road trip.

So why is it that every conversation I have had reflecting on our epic journey has had a disproportionate amount of time spent talking about the out of control wildfires. Yes, they impacted our trip. Yes, it was frightening to be so close and see water bombers overhead. Yes, it was heart wrenching to the see the strain on the faces of our hosts and their local community. I have such deep respect and admiration for the thousands of workers and volunteers who tirelessly fought back against multiple raging infernos.

And I’ve noticed how easy I slipped into the drama of the moment, that there was an obvious imbalance in the sharing of stories that could have given a better overview of our experience. Out of control wildfires are very dramatic and deserve attention. I recognized how I was sensationalizing this relatively minor aspect of our trip. Of course we would be asked about the fires (and we always were) but there was so much more to the story. So now I want a ‘do over’.

I teach people the First Vital Question in the TED* work is ‘Where are you putting your focus?” Drama is so seductive. It got attention and reaction. There was suspense and intrigue. It was real and raw. And it hijacked the opportunity (especially during our daughter’s visit) to highlight some of the fantastic places we visited and very special people we enjoyed.

I can make lots of excuses (some of which are valid) for my behaviour. I was VERY tired and my self-care had been seriously lacking. And the truth is also that drama is seductive. It was so easy for me to jump on the bandwagon of drama that built anxiety and heightened emotional reactions. Admittedly, I can’t teach the TED* work without living it. So here I am, ready for the next person to ask ‘How was your trip?” They will hear about the many, many things that worked well and all the precious memories we made. AND how humbled we were by the people who courageously faced life threatening challenges.

Pay attention to the impulse to be seduced by drama. You have a choice.

2 Comments

Posted in Conscious Thought, New perspectives, Personal Growth, The Empowerment Dynamic | Tags: , , , , , ,

Posted by: Ms. Daryl Wood | April 11, 2023

Clearing


Clearing

Do not try to save the whole world or do anything grandiose.
Instead, create a clearing in the dense forest of your life
and wait there patiently,
until the song that is your life
falls into your own cupped hands
and you recognize and greet it.
Only then will you know how to give yourself
to this world
so worthy of rescue.

Martha Postlewaite

1 Comment

Posted in Conscious Thought, Inspiration, Uncategorized

Posted by: Ms. Daryl Wood | April 8, 2023

I’m Not Perfect

I’m not perfect at thanking the countless people in my life who have generously given their words and actions to support me in so many ways – But I’m doing the best I can.

I’m not perfect at forgiving those who have harmed my spirit over and over again without remorse or accountability for their actions – But I’m doing the best I can.

I’m not perfect at meditating and exercising and eating well to give the kind of self-care that I am certain will bring me greater peace and joy – But I’m doing the best I can.

I’m not perfect at apologizing when I cross a line or unintentionally hurt someone – But I’m doing the best I can.

I’m not perfect at helping those who are suffering physically and emotionally through painful experiences I can’t understand or ones that hit home – But I’m doing the best I can.

I’m not perfect at seeing everyone in my coach mindset of being capable, resourceful and whole – But I’m doing the best I can.

I’m not perfect at recovering to a positive, empowering outlook when the darkness grips me – But I’m doing the best I can.

I’m not perfect at accepting others who act out their insecurities and desperation in ways that feel offensive or burdensome – But I’m doing the best I can.

I’m not perfect at communicating my needs in a way that respects myself – But I’m doing the best I can.

I’m not perfect at honouring my values and beliefs in a way that I can be proud of when they are called into question by others – But I’m doing the best I can.

I’m not perfect at responding with compassion and empathy when someone shares their pain or complains about the same thing over and over again – But I’m doing the best I can.

I’m not perfect at mothering the little boy inside my adult son who celebrates his birthday today – But I’m doing the best I can.

I’m not perfect at staying off of the Dreaded Drama Triangle – But I’m doing the best I can.

And my best looks different from minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day. In my 27 years of personal growth I have learned that the journey is never over and there is always more to discover and uncover.

I’ve always done the best I could at every intersection of my life when I used what I knew in that moment, and what influenced my life at that time. Even when I thought I knew better I realize that there have been times and will be times when my internal stories, fears and history will overpower what I know to ‘save’ me from something I can’t even explain.

In the end, all I can do is keep showing up in the only way I know how – doing the best I can.

Leave a Comment

Posted in Conscious Thought, Health, Inspiration, Personal Growth, Wellness | Tags: , ,

Posted by: Ms. Daryl Wood | March 25, 2023

Don’t Look Back

By Jan Miller Girando

As you travel through life there are always those times

When decisions just have to be made

When the choices seem hard, and solutions seem scarce

And the rain seems to soak your parade!

There are some situations where all you can do

Is to simply let go and move on

Gather courage together and choose a direction

That carries you toward a new dawn.

So pack up your troubles and take a step forward –

The process of change can be tough

But think about all the excitement ahead

If you can be stalwart enough!

There could be adventures you never imagined

Just waiting around the next bend

And wishes and dreams just about to come true

In ways you can’t yet comprehend.

Perhaps you’ll find friendships that spring from new interests

As you challenge your status quo

And learn there are so many options in life,

And so many ways you can grow!

Perhaps you’ll go places you never expected

And see things that you’ve never seen

Or travel to fabulous faraway worlds and wonderful spots in between!

Perhaps you’ll find warmth and affection and caring –

A “somebody special” who’s there

To help you stay centered and listen with interest

To stories and feelings you share.

Perhaps you’ll find comfort in knowing your friends

Are supportive of all that you do

And believe that whatever decisions you make,

They’ll be the right choices for you!

So keep putting one foot in front of the other

And taking your life day by day.

There’s a brighter tomorrow that’s just down the road.

Don’t look back – you’re not going that way!

Leave a Comment

Posted in Conscious Thought, consciousness, Inspiration, New perspectives, Personal Growth, Wellness

Posted by: Ms. Daryl Wood | March 23, 2023

Change is Inevitable, Growth is Optional

And sometimes I wish it were the other way around. Could we just for a day or so have Change be the optional piece and trust that Growth would be inevitable? I mean, really, we could grow just by default and keep change to a minimum. There is some appeal to that but it just doesn’t work that way.

The world around us changes constantly and so far we seem to be able to adapt. Not always easily, but eventually most of us ‘conform’ to whatever ‘new’ or ‘different’ shows up. We can go kicking and screaming into change or pause to assess how we want to ‘be’ with it.

When change within ourselves occurs it can be a subtle shift that we shrug off without much fanfare. When it shakes the ground we walk on, that’s a different story. Every time I lead a group through the 3 Vital Questions/TED* training/coaching I am faced with some level of resistance. It’s hard for some people to believe that changing the way they look at the world will change the world they look at. By the end of training, they get just as I did when I first learned that how I was seeing the people and places and events around me had a huge impact on my peace of mind.

When we are focusing on the joy, enthusiasm, excited anticipation of an event or outcome we are more likely to have a wee skip in our step, a smile on our face and the ability to see that positivity all around us. I keep saying that the Law of Attraction is always at work whether or not you believe in it. The proof is in the way that people, things and experiences just serendipitously show up when you think about them. And more and more ‘coincidences’ reinforce what you are believing.

Perhaps today you can look at one change that has recently happened or is happening around you and search for the growth opportunity. I’d love to hear the difference it makes to your wellbeing.

2 Comments

Posted in Conscious Thought, consciousness, Health, Inspiration, Personal Growth, Wellness

Posted by: Ms. Daryl Wood | March 10, 2023

Leap And The Net Will Appear

It has been over twenty years since I encountered The Artist’s Way Program by Julia Cameron. I loved it then and went through it again twice more with friends. The way we were guided towards our creative expression has stayed with me and I credit the experience with igniting my passion for writing.

But probably more than anything the phrase “Leap and the net will appear” has stayed with me in so many areas of my life. Of course, I’m human so there are times when I am annoyingly indecisive or thoughtfully discerning. What I am grateful for is the inspiration to just do it. Take a chance. Be bold.

For several years after taking the initial course I published The Spirited Woman magazine. It was a small, newsletter style publication where I used quotes and personal stories to complement articles by the skilled and amazing women in my life. Every now and then, I go back and browse the old issues reading the material that is as relevant today as it was then. That’s when I am so grateful that I had the courage to take a chance. I knew it was time to produce the magazine and when it was time to retire it.

In retrospect, it was easy to leap. I was so sure in my heart that I was on the right path. All I needed was a nudge and that’s what I got from The Artist’s Way.

2 Comments

Posted in Conscious Thought, Inspiration, Personal Growth | Tags: ,

« Newer Posts - Older Posts »

Categories